Letter to my mom - Pema Yangden

 Letter to my mom

I open my eyes each morning to start a new day,

But the pain of losing you never get away,

Hiding all my tears and scream with smile and laugh

I go about the things I have to do for the day

Yet, I cant stay without remembering again

I feel like to call you, just hear your voice

Sadly, having no choices of you are not here

My heart cries out loud, hoping to see you again.

And say mama I love you and I always will

And its been this way almost a year now.

The day that you left me behind, I didnt know

That you were going to the place that I can't see you.

And now you seem to be so far away from me

On that beautiful white shore across the sea

Yet, I remember loves soft glow upon your face,

The feel of your touch and tender embrace

When I am weary from the burdens Ive borne.

With all those profound memories of you

Make me miss you all the time of my life

And wish you were here standing right by my side;

When I feel there is no one who seems to care,

 And when the heartache seems too hard to bear,

I remember how you always stood by my side

And would tenderly wipe away the tears I cried.

When that day came to a close and the sun began to set,

I feel regretful that you were not here with us, 

And I wish I could have just one more day with you

spending every glorious moment side by side with you

Recalling all the years we shared and memories we made,

Now for me, the path is unclear to walk forward without you

 And I feel so forlorn that you were not with me at this time.

When there are moments of great joy and pride for me

I wish you, my mother was standing at my side

Cheering up for my great success and achievements. 

I remember she saw more than I thought I could be

And know I owe my triumphs to her belief in me.

How grateful I would be to have just one more day with you.

Looking at your face just me make whole life happy

But now it was late to wish and have no choice to let you go

Yet it is also so hard to tell you mama goodbye

Pretending to be happy with not a care in the world.

Where the tears Ive shed are not in vain and only fall in bliss.

So many things Id let you know about the days Ive missed.

And the tough time I have faced without you being present

Only when the day I have entered the heavens gate

Certainly, one day Ill see you on the shore across the sea.

   - Pema Yangden

    B.A. in Bhutanese and Himalayan studies.